negativity sucks.
I've been feeling pretty negative the last few days. I hate when I feel negative, but I also acknowledge that maybe I just need to feel this way right now. So, I usually let myself because I know I'll get over it and I know everything will be fine.
As excited as I was to begin summer, I'm that unexcited to go back to work. I hate writing that because I'm a teacher and teachers are supposed to love their jobs. It's not that I don't enjoy teaching, because I do. The problem is- as much as I love my job, I love my son more and it's hard to not be with him all day (especially after being with him all day, all summer). So, I do like my job. I like teaching kids. I like my co-workers, and I know as soon I get back into the flow of work I'll be fine. Plus, really, what do I have to complain about? I'll be on maternity leave in less than 3 months. Unfortunately, I'm feeling a little negative about that too. This time around, I know how quick it'll go and I can't even imagine how hard it'll be to leave two babies after knowing how hard it was to leave one.
Anyway... I hate when people say negative stuff because I always think- "hey, it could be so much worse." I have to remind myself that I'm complaining about things that some people don't have the luxury to complain about... So I will remind myself...
I'll list ten reasons why I should get over my negativity...
Here it goes...
1. I have a job- that I enjoy- in my field- that pays decent- has decent hours- affords me time off for holidays- provides my family health benefits- and allows me to make a difference from time to time :-)
2. I have a beautiful baby boy- who I love more than I could ever describe in normal words.
3. I'm having a little girl- who I will love more than I could ever describe in normal words.
4. My pregnancy has been pretty easy so far. I'm able to continue my life normally- no bed rest for me :-)
5. I have a wonderful, supportive husband who will be able to be home to watch my little boy so that I don't have to take him to daycare.
6. I have a wonderful, supportive husband that I love enough to miss during the day.
7. I really do like my co-workers and I'm happy to see them again after summer.
8. I have an option. I live in a country where I can work, where I can have children, where I can have children and work at the same time.
9. If time stopped and it stayed the summer of 2012 forever, I wouldn't get to take Peyton trick-or-treating, I wouldn't get to meet Harper, I wouldn't get to eat Thanksgiving dinner, I wouldn't get to open presents on Christmas with my family, I wouldn't turn 27... guess I could live without that... the point is.. I must move on. Plus, I'm really looking forward to fall this year and going to the pumpkin patch, drinking hot chocolate, and wearing boots :-)
and last... 10. I shouldn't be negative because it's a waste of time and what good will come from it.
Nothing. at. all.
So, that's it. I've allowed myself to be negative for the last few days, but I think I'll try to wrap it up by tomorrow. I'll try to stop crying every time I look at this picture...
(well, that might not happen but I'll blame it on hormones)
and read a little more of this...
