what do you know about perfect?

Please tell me...Is there a such thing as perfect?

I overheard a conversation about this today, and my reaction was to jokingly say... "I know someone who is Perfect.  Peyton."  And then I stopped before I said that, because the truth is- Peyton is not perfect.

Before he was born, I had lots of plans for Peyton's life.  I knew exactly what I would do in every situation and exactly who I would be as a mother.  Well... let me tell you a little about Peyton.

1.  He's NEVER been a good sleeper.  I kept saying he'd grow out of it.. but he hasn't.  He's had short periods of time where he slept through the night (which didn't really begin until after turning 1), but then he's like "j/k, changed my mind".

2. He's NEVER been a good eater.  When he was born he was such a poor eater he had to stay in the NICU for two weeks.  (Now this was actually my fault for delivering him 5 weeks early.. but nonetheless he was a poor eater).  He got better.. until we started him on solids.  After stage 2, it sorta went downhill from there.

3.  He hits himself in the head...repeatedly.  I'm sure that's normal... right.

4.  He throws whatever is in his hand when he gets mad.  Yeah... I thought I had at least another year until stuff like that started.  But no.

5.  He puts toes in his mouth and bites them.  Yeah I said toes.. not toys.. this was not a typo.  His, mine, Brandon's.  He doesn't discriminate.  Actually, he still puts everything else in his mouth too.  Picture: dog bones, dog food, the bottom of the swiffer yeah.. again- he doesn't discriminate.

The real truth is- Peyton is far from perfect.


I don't know when he'll be potty trained.
I don't know when he'll start to read.
I don't even know if he'll make honor roll- imagine that- a teacher's child not make honor roll?! what!
I don't know if he'll be athletic.
I can't say that he'll make great friends or girlfriends, or get into a four year college, or never use drugs.

I wish all of these things for him, but I can't guarantee any of them.

I could say that I've learned from being a first time mother to Peyton and with the next baby there is no way that I will allow him or her to sleep in my bed until 6 months old... don't judge :-)  But, the truth is- I don't know what I'll do because the truth is- I loved sleeping next to my baby.  Even now a part of me actually likes when he wakes up crying at night because I get to hold him... and I won't get to hold him for very long.  The fact that he doesn't eat much.. well neither does his dad and I like his dad... so I like that he's like his dad.  Now, I can't say that I like when he hits himself, but the face he makes while he's doing it and his laugh- well it makes me laugh too and I say "no Peyton, don't hit yourself baby!"  But, I'm thinking "you are so freaking cute.. (but please don't hit yourself baby)."  

I will do my best to be a good mom to Peyton, but I will never tell him he is perfect.  He doesn't need the pressure... especially in this harsh world.  So no, I will never tell him that he is perfect... what I will tell him is that it doesn't matter because even though he's not perfect, he is loved.

I hope for Peyton to be all of these things. Perfection is not one of them.

Picture taken by Ashley Seanez Photography

my name is written on your hands

     Sometimes you hear something or read something and you're like "that's exactly what I needed to hear!"  So that's what I was thinking today.  Lately I've really been trying to minimize my wants and appreciate what I already have.  I'm not always successful so don't think I'm trying to be all preachy about what you need to do.... it's easier said than done.  To help me out... I've been praying on Matthew 6: 19-21 which says:

 "Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. ²⁰ But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. ²¹ For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also."

I want to want less.  I don't want my heart to be tied to the material things I have.  Those things should not matter or have the hold on me that they often can.  Material goods should enhance my life.. they should not be my life or make me stressed in life.  I often want "things" because I'm convinced that whatever it is will fill the need I'm feeling... even when there's really no need at all.  When I pray on Matthew 6: 19-21, I remind myself that everything on this Earth is the Lord's.  None of it is mine- really, it's on loan to me.  Even the things that I "earned" with my money, or my intelligence, or my hard work are not mine at all.  It is God who gave me the ability to do everything I do.  I'm reminded of that in Psalms 24: 1

"The earth is the LORD’s, and everything in it, the world, and all who live in it"

I was reminded of this... actually slapped in the face with "why the heck didn't anyone say this to me sooner because it is the truth!"  when I read a post on one of my favorite blogs today.  The blog post (oh, sorry. i thought that was mine.) was about how the blogger's daughter had to go to the emergency room.. but it was about more than that.  It made her realize that she didn't have control- that God was in control.  Even more than that... it helped her remember that her baby girl was not hers.  

Just like Psalms 24:1 says "... and all who live in it."  Not just the material things, not just the house and car and clothes and stuff... but the people too.  It's hard to wrap your mind around that fact.  

Jami (aka the blogger from my favorite blog) said it perfectly "it's hard to love something so much and realize you can't control the outcome of their lives. or even their days" then she asked such an important question... "why does it make me sad that i can't control their lives? because i think i'm better than God..."  Of course she doesn't.  Of course I don't- but why then do I act like it so often.  I choose to place my faith and my trust and my hope in the Gospel.  It doesn't mean it's easy but I choose to trust Him with my life and Peyton's.

On that note... here's my favorite song from church this past Sunday (Counting on Your Name by Tim Hughes)

Monday's Weekly Menu

     We had a very busy, but productive weekend!  Unfortunately, it ended with Peyton throwing up three times all over our friend's living room.  So, today (which was a day off for me) consisted of setting up Peyton's doctor appointment- don't worry he's fine, setting up the website for Brandon's Christian summer camp (www.characterdrivenathletics.com), and I was able to plan dinner for the entire week!  Then we went grocery shopping and actually got all of the ingredients.  Hopefully, I'll stick to my plan and I won't venture off to Chipotle, Panda Express, or Panera... as I have been doing far too often lately.

In case you're interested, here is my Weekly Menu (click on the picture to be directed to the recipe):

Monday- Turkey Burger w/ Sweet Potato Fries

Recipe From: All Recipes

Tuesday- Chicken Enchilada Bake w/ Corn

Recipe From:  Picky Palate Blog

Wednesday- Garlic Toasted Open Faced Lasagna Ciabattas w/ Salad

Recipe From: Picky Palate Blog

Thursday- Sweet and Tangy Baked Chicken w/ Broccoli and Brown Rice

Recipe From:  Syrup and Biscuits Blog

Friday- Either.... Chicken and Pesto Pasta with Spinach (which I made up a recipe for) OR... Honey Chicken in a Crock Pot w/ Brown Rice and Peas (I'm thinking the honey chicken might be too similar to the sweet and tangy chicken.. so I'll probably save it for next week)

Honey Chicken Recipe From: Mmm... Cafe Blog

As you can see, I'm not too big on meat- unless it's chicken.  Really if it were up to me we'd eat pasta or Mexican food everyday, but since there's more than just me in this household, I try to switch it up some.

to sherm love sug

Happy Valentine's Day!

I decided that it's important for me to document this Valentine's day and acknowledge and recognize my amazing husband.  Having been together now for 9 Valentine's days (5 dating and now 4 as actual married people! crazy),  I think we sometimes fall into a funk.  So this Valentine's day, we celebrated on Saturday instead of tonight- Tuesday.  If you can't tell, Tuesday would not work so well seeing as I worked all day, B's at work now and I'm going to be ready for bed as soon as I'm done writing this :-)

So Saturday... our special Valentine's day was celebrated how???..... da da da... drumroll please.....

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Going to the movies!  And I know that was way too dramatic for the outcome.  

Going to the movies was something we used to do every weekend- that is before our little man came along.  Now, it kinda actually is a treat to go to the movies, not to mention we saw Safe House.. which (if you don't know) has Denzel Washington in it and if you know me- you know that I don't miss opening weekend of a Denzel Washington movie!  Luckily it happened to come out the weekend before Valentine's Day- so whatdoyouknow.. perfect way to spend our evening together.  Dinner (Macaroni Grill) and a movie (Denzel Washington with the added plus of Ryan Reynolds).  It was nice.  The movie was good- except for the running late from dinner and now stuck in the first row part, nevertheless- it was good!  We saw the 7ish show because we're old people basically and I knew I'd be tired and we had church in the morning.  So we saw the old people showing, picked up Pey by 10:15 and were in bed by 11.  But it was good.  It was another day I got to spend with Brandon.  

So today is the actual Valentine's Day and Brandon seriously surprised me! This doesn't usually happen so I was really, genuinely surprised!  He had flowers sent my school.  A student aide brought them up to me during 5th period and all my students watched me open them.  They told me I should be crying.. (and I probably would have if I didn't have a bunch of high schoolers staring at me).  I don't surprise Brandon enough, so I at least wanted to write a post to say that I love him.  

I love you Brandon.

I appreciate you everyday and I don't tell you that enough either.  I'm sorry that I always say that the house is messy, because there are so many things you do so perfectly.    

You are seriously my best friend and I really don't know what I'd do without you.  

When I see you with Peyton, I am so in awe.  

I love you more than I could even figure out how to put into words and I thank God everyday for bringing us together.

Happy Valentine's Day.

the fruit of the Spirit is love...

     So what did I learn in growth group this week... well it's kind of funny how things work out.  Last week I really wanted to be a "yes kinda girl," which makes me think of this note I have saved on Pinterest...

however, I wasn't sure exactly how I would know that God was talking to me so that I could say yes to Him.  Well, I guess Lysa anticipated that others would be wondering the same thing and so.. she spelled it out for us.  She said there are 5 questions that help us know if God is speaking to us.  The 5 questions are:

1.  Does what I'm hearing line up with Scripture?
2.  Is what I'm hearing consistent with God's character?
3. Is what I'm hearing being confirmed through other messages?
4. Is what I'm hearing beyond me?
5.  Would what I'm hearing please God?

We read several Bible verses that relate to each question and discussed the meaning in relation to recognizing God's voice.  This was extremely helpful.  I decided that question 2 and question 5 were most helpful to me in discerning whether or not what I think is God's nudge actually is.  I especially was drawn to question 2... which we related back to Galatians 5: 22-23, which says:

²² But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, ²³ gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. 

This quote acts as a wonderful summary of God's character.  If there is ever a time that I think I am supposed to be doing something but it doesn't align with or bring about any of these characteristics in myself, well then I'll know it can't be God.  Each day I'm more and more excited to experience the amazing things that God decides to do in my life.  I know he's active in my life everyday.  Hopefully with time I'll learn to be more aware of it all.

For info on the study visit: http://lysaterkeurst.com/what-happens-when-women-say-yes-to-god-participants-guide/

a snowsuit in 60 degree weather

     Back in November, I bought Peyton a snowsuit and in December I bought him snow boots.  I was sure that at some point it was going to snow here and I wanted to be prepared so there would be no reason that we couldn't take him out to play!  Well, it's now February and there hasn't been any real snow (besides a weird accumulation around Halloween and a not too big snow fall a few weeks ago that melted the next day because of crazy warm temperatures).  I'm starting to think that we won't get snow this year.  And some people would think this is great- but not me.  Last year it snowed on the day Peyton was born.  I loved that it snowed for him.  It snowed again a few weeks after he was born, shortly after we brought him home.  Two years ago we had three crazy blizzards- but I loved it and I almost wish it would happen again.

2010

     Because I'm a teacher, I find that snow doesn't phase me since if it is even a little bit dangerous, I get the day off.  And the day off due to snow = me laying around in my sweats all day.  I think that's why I loved the blizzard from February 2010 so much.  It literally shut down this area for a week- and I was off work for over a week.  It helps slow us down and I think that a lot of us need that, probably more than we're willing to acknowledge.  Snow makes it ok to sit inside, wear sweatpants, lay under a blanket and watch movies all day.  I don't have to worry about getting the groceries (because I probably stocked up in advance), or running errands (because I can't go anywhere anyway).  I don't have to think about whether someone may randomly knock on my door- because everyone else is in their own houses and if they are knocking on my door they're probably wearing a more ridiculous outfit than me (something like this maybe.......)

2010

   In the United States, we're so programmed to be driven and successful and productive, that I think we don't give ourselves enough time to really enjoy life.  I've always felt this way, but of course I do even more now after having Peyton.  I can just about tell you what my day will be like every single day and unfortunately too much of it is doing things that I do more out of a feeling of necessity than want.  Going to work (and don't get me wrong- I do enjoy my job, but at this point in my life I'd set that responsibility aside if I felt I had an option), doing laundry, cleaning the house, paying bills- these are all things that I spend time doing, all things that take the place of me spending time with Peyton, or with Brandon, my family and friends.  I'm sure some people reading this would just say that I'm lazy and I need to suck it up and do what I gotta do.  But why?  Time passes so quickly.  Peyton was just born- he was seriously just born.  Yet somehow, he began sitting, then crawling, then eating food, and now walking.  At some point he began saying words and laughing.  He sticks out his tongue and squeezes his eyes really tight because it's funny.  He was just born, yet he's not my little infant anymore.  And while all of this was going on, I was working, doing laundry, cleaning, and paying bills.  It's really too bad that everyday can't be a snow day.  But you know, at least I have summer :-)  And I will leave you with this....

Who wouldn't want to slow down and really enjoy this cutie?!

12 months and 3.5 weeks old- 23lbs 12oz