what do you know about perfect?

Please tell me...Is there a such thing as perfect?

I overheard a conversation about this today, and my reaction was to jokingly say... "I know someone who is Perfect.  Peyton."  And then I stopped before I said that, because the truth is- Peyton is not perfect.

Before he was born, I had lots of plans for Peyton's life.  I knew exactly what I would do in every situation and exactly who I would be as a mother.  Well... let me tell you a little about Peyton.

1.  He's NEVER been a good sleeper.  I kept saying he'd grow out of it.. but he hasn't.  He's had short periods of time where he slept through the night (which didn't really begin until after turning 1), but then he's like "j/k, changed my mind".

2. He's NEVER been a good eater.  When he was born he was such a poor eater he had to stay in the NICU for two weeks.  (Now this was actually my fault for delivering him 5 weeks early.. but nonetheless he was a poor eater).  He got better.. until we started him on solids.  After stage 2, it sorta went downhill from there.

3.  He hits himself in the head...repeatedly.  I'm sure that's normal... right.

4.  He throws whatever is in his hand when he gets mad.  Yeah... I thought I had at least another year until stuff like that started.  But no.

5.  He puts toes in his mouth and bites them.  Yeah I said toes.. not toys.. this was not a typo.  His, mine, Brandon's.  He doesn't discriminate.  Actually, he still puts everything else in his mouth too.  Picture: dog bones, dog food, the bottom of the swiffer yeah.. again- he doesn't discriminate.

The real truth is- Peyton is far from perfect.


I don't know when he'll be potty trained.
I don't know when he'll start to read.
I don't even know if he'll make honor roll- imagine that- a teacher's child not make honor roll?! what!
I don't know if he'll be athletic.
I can't say that he'll make great friends or girlfriends, or get into a four year college, or never use drugs.

I wish all of these things for him, but I can't guarantee any of them.

I could say that I've learned from being a first time mother to Peyton and with the next baby there is no way that I will allow him or her to sleep in my bed until 6 months old... don't judge :-)  But, the truth is- I don't know what I'll do because the truth is- I loved sleeping next to my baby.  Even now a part of me actually likes when he wakes up crying at night because I get to hold him... and I won't get to hold him for very long.  The fact that he doesn't eat much.. well neither does his dad and I like his dad... so I like that he's like his dad.  Now, I can't say that I like when he hits himself, but the face he makes while he's doing it and his laugh- well it makes me laugh too and I say "no Peyton, don't hit yourself baby!"  But, I'm thinking "you are so freaking cute.. (but please don't hit yourself baby)."  

I will do my best to be a good mom to Peyton, but I will never tell him he is perfect.  He doesn't need the pressure... especially in this harsh world.  So no, I will never tell him that he is perfect... what I will tell him is that it doesn't matter because even though he's not perfect, he is loved.

I hope for Peyton to be all of these things. Perfection is not one of them.

Picture taken by Ashley Seanez Photography